【Married Women’s Sex Party】

For far too long,Married Women’s Sex Party fluffy pets and barnyard animals have thought they were above the law -- and now they're suffering the consequences.

Even though crime is at a historic low in the United States (despite, cough cough, inflammatory reports to the contrary), some animals have escaped the claws of justice. They thought their frighteningly adorable googly eyes and crushingly soft manes meant they could live life above the law.

That time is over.

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SEE ALSO: Nothing calms Polly the goat's anxiety like her duck costume

There's a new sheriff in town, and that sheriff is your local police officer, forced to pick up a drunk pig on their way home from work.

Below is a list of some of the most wanted barnyard animals/household pets in America.

1. Squishy the miniature donkey, charged with the crime of "wandering on a road"

It's not everyday that you see a donkey in the back of a police car. Ofc Canaan helped get it safely off the roadway pic.twitter.com/z6j4hajDrD

— Norman Police (@normanokpd) December 1, 2015

2. A hardnosed pelican caught WWS (walking while sleepy)

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

3. This anarchist owl who assaulted police officer and crashed his car

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4. Ex-con golden retriever turned himself into the cops

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5. Michigan drug kingpig does hard time

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6. (Human dressed as) polar bear headed to the slammer

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7. Neighborhood squirrel found guilty of acorn embezzlement scheme

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8. Baby seal headed for big baby jail

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There are millions more animals like them out there, hiding their dystopian criminal agenda behind their effortlessly soft puppy ears.

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