【Dear Utol (2025): Pa-Yummy si Ma'am Episode 37】

Donald Trump is Dear Utol (2025): Pa-Yummy si Ma'am Episode 37launching a new social media platform, and because the "very stable genius"is a wealthy former U.S. president, I guess we have to hear about it. I'm just as thrilled about this as you.

Hilariously named "TRUTH Social,"Trump's new vanity project plans to launch its invite-only beta in November, with a wider U.S. rollout intended for early 2022. It's the first project by the Trump Media & Technology Group, which also announced its merger with Digital World Acquisition Corp. and its upcoming public listing.

Judging from the screenshots on its Apple App Store page, it looks like TRUTH Social is a straight-up ripoff of Trump's first love: Twitter.

"I am excited to send out my first TRUTH on TRUTH Social very soon," Trump said in an unintentionally comedic press release, also unilaterally dubbing himself "your favourite American President." "TMTG was founded with a mission to give a voice to all. I'm excited to soon begin sharing my thoughts on TRUTH Social and to fight back against Big Tech."

It seems that only Apple users will be able to suckle from Trump's new teat, though. TRUTH Social is currently only available for pre-order on the Apple App Store, with no indication of if or when it might hit Android — which makes sense considering Trump is currently trying to sue Google.

Unfortunately, Trump Media & Technology Group isn't just copy-pasting Twitter and calling it a day. The company also intends to launch a subscription video on demand service called "TMTG+," featuring "'non-woke' entertainment programming" as if the Hallmark Channel's entire back catalogue doesn't already exist.

Since losing his second run at the White Houseand being booted off a plethora of social media platformsfor violations including inciting violence, Trump has been making flailing attempts at amplifying his incoherent ramblings via other means. Thus far he has had limited success, with his blog "From the Desk of Donald J. Trump" shutting down just one month after its launch.

Trump is now attempting to sue Twitter, Facebook, and Googlefor allegedly violating his First Amendment rights — a lawsuit that demonstrates a frankly impressive misunderstanding of the law, government, and private business.

Related video: How to know if you (or Donald Trump) violated the First Amendment

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